This is my sharing my personal journey with you…
The green cutting was a gift from my close friends when they moved me from Santa Cruz to the San Francisco East Bay in February. Last winter, they graciously and with open hearts welcomed me into their home: I released most all of my possessions and for THREE MONTHS I lived on their living room futon couch. I was working for near minimum wage, supplementing this meager income with childcare under the table. No matter what the weather conditions, I cycled the 10-mile commute, as I chose to live without a car (not like I could have afforded one anyway).
I was tired, overweight, and fresh off of heartbreak. It seemed ludicrous to use the little savings I had on a fitness challenge pack, but I saw the value in Shakeology, as I have studied nutrition supplements and both worked with & shadowed Naturopathic Physicians. I signed up as a coach solely to get the discount, not intending to do any “coaching.”
I had been stunting my own growth because I wasn’t giving myself permission to fully live. I was too scared to grow because I felt paralyzed by all of the possibilities in how to fulfill my “potential.” For eight months, this plant lived tightly wound in a tiny glass bottle, and through a miracle, I know that I am able to help and support it. Just like coaching, it was something that I could do “later,” as in, when I reached my POTENTIAL…
Marianne Williamson says it beautifully in her book, “A Return to Love”: “There is no point in waiting until we are perfect in what we do, or enlightened masters, or Ph.D.s in life, before opening ourselves to what we’re CAPABLE of doing now.”
That’s how I felt, too: as though I had been stunting my own growth. Like my inner light, I kept it in, out of fear. Fear that I wasn’t worthy; that I wouldn’t be a good leader, fear of waiting until I reached my “potential” to share and to grow.
Like the plant, I was inhibiting myself, and with a shift in context for my life, I am taking the steps one after the other, instead of jumping from A to Z. It is my responsibility to share the journey that I’m on and my faith in God/Love.
Just like me, you know in your heart that you were born to do great things, and the only person who can free you is yourself!
Coastal Cleanup was a success here in the East Bay! After a few hours of scouring the beach, I came up with less than a pound of trash! Huge difference from when I was living in Santa Cruz & Massachusetts. The most prevalent items were cigarette butts, styrofoam, and nut shells.
What do you think: are nut shells considered trash?
Where your attention goes, energy flows….
I am enormously grateful for the opportunity to attend the San Francisco premiere of “The Connection” next week: a film scientifically proving that you can change your mind, change your health, and change your life.
Check it out!: https://www.theconnection.tv/
“Awareness is required for learning and change. The stronger the awareness, the greater the change.” —Lu Grey, Director of Bay Area Gestalt Institute
In experiencing the “Here & Now” of Gestalt Therapy on retreat last week for graduate school, I came to some stark realizations:
1. Unplugging from internet and telephone for 4 days does wonders for the soul (It took me a few days to fully surrender to this, and once I did I felt much more present).
2. I enjoy making art.
3. The unconscious sends powerful messages. We just have to do the work to understand them.
Our class was fortunate to have been Lu Grey’s last. At 78, she was like our cherished grandmother, watering the seeds of knowledge and awareness that we carry. For six to nine hours a day, in three hour chunks of time, she gently and expertly discussed this holistic, creative and active form of therapy, which is ultimately a way of experiencing life in the present moment. My two biggest takeaways from working with Lou:
–Cultivation of a spiritual practice diminishes the power that superego has over us.
–Drinking alcohol is not good for me.
At the beginning of the week, I was feeling terrible. I was scattered, and I had a few vivid dreams so intense that they initiated self-care of staying in bed one morning, causing me to miss class. I recorded the dreams, knowing that we would be doing dream work at some point during the retreat. August 15 came, and I volunteered myself to work with Lu for a class demonstration of experiencing the dream in the present state. She led me through being each part of my dream (the shower, me, the drain, the acid) and to have a conversation with the others. Shuttling my attention between my body and the conversation was truly hard work, especially with an audience. My unconscious was communicating that I do not have control over alcohol, and that in order to live a life free from the disgust that results from drinking, I am to abstain from it.
I feel comfortable with my decision to not drink.
I am in awe of this work.
Originally posted on Journey Of A Nifty Day Trader:
Originally posted on:
Daniel P. K. Ng
Await that sacred hour, where all in stillness lie,
Cease your aimless walking, with the angels, fly.
The spirit now its resting, retire those weary eyes,
Then listen to his arriving, The Lord is passing by.
“The Lord passed before Moses”
~ Exodus 34:6
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